Sigh... I'm numb. I had a nice long talk, or rather cry, on the phone with Kurt yesterday. Apparently he loves me so much that even the very sound of my voice now shreds his heat to bits. So I asked him the inevitable question of what is the solution to the problem? He didn't say it right away but eventually it came to he can't be happy as long as I'm there. So, I quit rausumea. I cut off my wings to preserve him. I deprived myself of ever flying again just so that I wouldn't ever hurt him any more. Yea, yea you might ask me why I did something like that for someone who has hurt me so much, but hey unfortunately I let myself fall in love with him. And there is nothing in this world that hurts me more than hurting someone I care about... It kills me inside... I mean literally, when I hurt people I feel like a bit of me had rotten away. I can't just tell Kurt to deal with it and that I don't care that I'm hurting him. I can't stand knowing that I'm hurting him... so I solved the problem. I will enevre see him, talk to him, and eventually never think of him again. I'm over him and unfortunately him getting over me means me leaving. He can't grow up and deal with it, I can't cheapen myself and tell him to, so I have to be mature and eliminate the problem.

Sigh I will miss the best times of my life and some of the best people I've ever met... I will miss flying,

Huggles