Why does it always hurt so much?
Most of the time I'm one of the happiest people in the world. Nothing bothers me! I can hit any bump and just keep on rolling! Come on world, throw anything at me, I can take it all!
But then... there are days when one little crack appears in my defenses and suddenly the levy breaks and my heart is drowned. I guess what goes up must come down...
I just hope I can pull myself up again soon because if I feel any emptier I may just disappear.
posted by Hannah @ 10:57 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Grab that one moment from Africa that set your soul on fire and pull up that image whenever you're drowning. I have three of those that I can pull up when I'm desperate. I'll share one.
One of the lowest moments of my life happened while at college. Yes, it involves a boy. :) It was the kind of romance that flamed hard and fast, then we mutually destroyed each other. He left to study overseas in Italy and I was left behind to try and go on without him. I became hugely depressed, slept all day and wandered campus all night.
So anyways, I had just failed my last exam for the week and was literally a walking zombie. I was on my way to Taco Hell to drown my sorrows and realized I didn't have enough energy to cross the street. I sat down on the side of the hill and just let my brain shut down.
I have no idea how long I'd been there, when I realized I could actually hear the leaves through the trees (front campus is gorgeous and old, lots of grass and trees). Little shafts of sunlight were dancing across the grass, then I realized I'd set down in this patch of tiny purple flowers. Unless you were on top of them you couldn't see them but from where I was sitting they covered the entire side of the hill. I just kept picking out individual flowers with my eyes, counting the petals and breathing clean spring air.
It was one of those moments where you realized things weren't necessarily ok, but they were survivable. I hope you can find your moment today.
-A
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