Sigh. If I had to sum up my mood in one word right now it would be sigh. And not a happy, content with life sigh. More of a I feel worthless, empty, and alone type of sigh. I don't get it. I really can't explain why I feel this way. Nothing really bad has happened to me lately, a few small things have bothered me but nothing that should make me feel this crappy. And last night I was surrounded by my best friends in the whole world and even Josh was trying to cheer me up and I so wanted to be happy but it's like there is a wall between me and the sunshine. I feel terrible because I know it was upsetting him that I was upset but I couldn't make myself happy. And that's the problem, I have to be happy with myself before anyone can help me be happy with life. I want to scream, I want to run, I want to tear my life to shreds... anything to let out this swirling, cacophonous ball of energy inside me. I just need to cry...