Agony

I am so sick of this damn speech tournament, it isn't amsuing anymore. At first the large groups of people and feeling of importance were exciting but it has slowly worn on me over the past 4 days to the point where I may snap if I don't get to do something of real substance.

I adore Emmy and Steph but I have hardly gotten to see them at all because they are competing, Mark is over stressed, and no one else really seems to like my company. It is highly amusing though that for being gay guys, they certainly are fixated on discussing my breasts. Bah! And though Mark wants me to compete again next semester, it's going to be a big decision for me. I simply don't view the amount of work and stress required to compete as being worth the little benefit I would recieve from it. It doesn't apply to my major or my career. And besides, the competition itself is somewhat of a joke, the judging is superficial and subjective. I'll simply have to mull it over for awhile but at the moment I don't see any real motivation to put myself through this torture any longer.

Sigh.

I wish I was at the zoo today talking to people who actually liked me and doing something that actually was interesting and challenging. Just get through today and tomorrow and then it will all be over...

hugsss