Spasm

Prepare for random recounting of last day or so... This evening we are experiencing spastic difficulties and may be a little hard to follow.

Dj's concert last night was amazing. Everyone should listen to Third Nature (blatant plug)! They are so freaking hot. I did not stop moving the whole time they were playing. The music just welled up inside me and in a torrent of passion and energy I had to release it. It was made even more awesome by the friends that came with me. We spent the hours leading up to the delayed set start taking random, fun, and whacky pics of each other which I will post soonish.

Alas I had to meet up with my Daddio and go home after my holiday from the insanity that is my house. I felt so relaxed at Delilah's and even though I missed most of my family and animals and things... it just felt right this past week. Never fear, I will return again. Probably spend Tuesday through Friday there climaxing in seeing my Dad's band play at the Cashmere Cricket Friday night. I am terribly excited!

I am currently exhausted off my arse. I slept 3 hours after getting home last night wiped out from hardcore thrashing. Then I worked 8 hours at the zoo and really put physical effort into things all day. Then straight to practice with nary a stop at home. All I can say is hells yea for the awesome Spring Opener we had today. Beautiful weather, tons of people, good fighting. I didn't feel quite in my groove but was definitely enjoying some shield bashing and especially taking on a leadership role. I was rallying people around me and when I shouted they listened. It was a great feeling! I also think that all the time I have spent marshalling lately is really helping me notice things on a more field wide perspective. I noticed flankers and holes a lot more often and used it to my advantage.

So I was having a blast fighting until... ARROW!!! TO THE EYE!!! FUCK YOU HANNAH! NO SIGHT FROM YOUR LEFT EYE FOR YOU! BAM TAKE THAT BITCH! I can finally see again but for a long while there was a dark black spot in the top middle of the field of vision for my left eye and it was really freaking me out. It is a little swollen but thankfully not black and blue. And so thus ended my evening of sunshine and bloodlust.

In other news...

I heard words tonight that I have not heard in a long time... And I am not sure how to react. I am slightly scared and yet want to embrace it. Deep breath and come what may? That sounds like the best plan. I am happier with Brandon then I have been in a long, long time. But I am afraid of things going too fast. I am smitten but I fear getting smited again. To be honest I had to bite my tongue last night to not let the same words slip. Can I really think I know already?

Sigh... and finally, why do I care about what people think of me? Well in this case, perhaps it is because this person is supposed to be like a brother to me. And yet he can flippantly insult something I poured my heart into... Sometimes I do not know why I bother and then I remember that I love Rausumea and will not let one single chode get in the way of helping it become better.

My head is throbbing with thoughts and bruises and I feel the urge to embrace unconsciousness.
I only hope I am not this spasmodic tomorrow.
*Crosses fingers in hopes of good dreams of four lettered words*
Huggles