Still no call.... oh well, can't say I didn't give him a chance. It is starting to make me a little mad though...
I sat in the wind storm for an hour today and bawled while I waited for my ride to pick me up in Akron. It just felt like the thing to do... I feel so out of sync with reality. Like life keeps going but I'm only making the motions... I'm disconnected, watching my body move from some other vantage point. Hmmm.
I'm going to go meditate.
Huggles
posted by Hannah @ 9:16 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
*slap* what you need is to disconnect yourself and take a look at yourself from a distance. There are other facets of your life and existence that you need to improve upon before you dance around and pull your hair out over something like this. Here is some friendly advice. Give it up. Swear off dating for 6 months maybe a year. You need to realize that who you date is not important if they are not on the same wavelength as you. Step out of your daily box already, that hour you spent crying you could have been someplace new and exciting that you have never been before. You could have taken a walk outside of your regular school environment and had an adventure. You might have met someone new or someone who would be a friend and change your life forever. Instead you waisted it pondering someone who obviously is only going to holding you back. And if you don't think they are holding you back, what did you do for an hour? An hour of my time is 20$ at the lowest rate I will sell myself to society. What is it worth to you?
I think I misconstrued my meaning yesterday... I wasn't crying because of that asshole... In fact, I sat today and had a very constructive talk with a friend about why I should never consider dating him again. I am planning on taking a break again from dating, we'll see how that goes this time.
The crying was simply a stress relief after the frustrating speech competition, anger at my speech coach, nerves about up and coming final, and financial worries. It's ok to cry and it was rather productive as I am feeling much alieviated. Thank you for your concern though.
et says:
Given all that's going on, I can hardly fault you for being upset. I think you have probably done the right thing in making the first move; it will be easier than waiting. This way if bad news follows, you can move on rather than towing this vague situation behind you. Things will work out one way or the other; if he doesn't come through, you've still got speech and debate! Who needs a boyfriend when bois are to be had?
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