Tense Rambles

My brain feels like it is exploding.

It is so full that I cannot function.

The pressure is pushing out every pore and bearing down on my shoulders.

In hopes of relief, I purge my brain:

I wish I had a masseuse.
My hair is heavy. Should I let it grow or cut it short again?
To sleep, or to maintain a semblance of normalcy?
How can I miss something that I've never even had?
I only really love myself when I convince myself I am someone else.
I feel like my skin bubbles with my insecurities.
I must remember that I really am very young.
The world is my oyster, a true aphrodisiac.
If nothing else, I will change the world one day at a time.
Failing that, I will teach my children (someday) to live and love and laugh.
I wish there were a pair of hands carving trails of relief through the landscape of my muscles and tendons like a stream. Gently flowing with stubborn strength.
I wish I had a lap to lay my head upon and rest my weary eyes.
How do I start to believe? How do I take the first step?
Sigh.

I need to sleep.

(sorry for the rambling...)