Pontifications

The new semester is going quite well thus far. My biology of behavior class is just as interesting as I had hoped. Our first homework is to watch an animal and record its behavior for half an hour. Any of you who know me can just imagine the torture that will be for me. *smirk* Women's psych is enlightening and I can tell it will help to expand the tools that I have to dissect society a little better. Perhaps one day I will truly understand why people act the ways they do... History of psych intrigues me... In what other field do you have an internal specialization devoted to studying, and doing research on, the history of that field? The notion intrigues and amuses me.

My scheduling is working out marvelously as well! I get dropped off at school around 7:30 and work out in the rec center for an hour every morning. It feels amazing to start the day off by getting my heart rate up. I spend the rest of the day feeling much more awake and healthy as a whole. Though at the moment I am hardpressed to feel any more then marginally healthy. This respiratory bug is progressively taking a toll on me. It is all I can do to keep from coughing my way through class. And I am sure that the rapid movement from the hot indoors to the frigid outside isn't helping my immune system any... I am so grateful for my new coat, there are definite advantages to feeling like a giant blue marshmallow when the wind is bone chillingly cold.

So I work out, then go to class, eat lunch, and then I work in the spider lab. I effortlessly completed ten hours of video observation last week. If I keep it up, I might actually not be broke sometime soon. That will be the day...

And the rest of my time is spent procrastinating on writing my honors project paper. I have sat in front of a blank piece of paper countless times but can't seem to produce more then a vague outline. I am getting rather frustrated because it should not be this difficult. I think I am stuck on format more then content but I really shbould just start putting down words and see where it leads me...

Speaking of my paper, I am rereading Karen Pryor's "Don't Shoot the Dog" as part of my training research. It never ceases to amaze me the juxtaposition between the simple beauty and sophisticated complication that is operant conditioning. And it amazes me how many small details I had lost since I last read this. It reminds me that to be good at anything, one must constantly reexamine their skills, especially in a field like training where there are so many different techniques. At the same time, it frustrates me at my lack of experience. Sure I have now had my hand in the training of about two dozen animals or so but I truly feel that I can train anything to do any behavior that is within its physical capabilities given the right amount of time and access to positive reinforcers. It would be nice to test this theory out more... but alas this is not my immediate calling.

Often I am surprised by how two things I am thinking about separately suddenly collide into connected meaning. I have long known that positive reinforcement is the best method of training. Sure negative reinforcement can be just as effective but it has its limits and is known to lead to harmful psychological side effects. I was musing over this when in one of my psychology classes we were discussing the fact that people tend to remember the negative occurences in life far more distinctly then the positive ones. I have often noticed that I tend to do exactly the same in relationships, hence part of the reason for my self confidence and intimacy issues. So my logic instinctively jumped to the conclusion that, if the negative is more memorable, would it not then be a better training device? This is a fallacy however, as though it is more memorable, it is only so because of the great stress and anxiety paired with it. Think of it this way; Imagine you have an illness that can be cured by two different medicines. One medicine is gentle and had no harsh side effects. The other is very volatile and can leave permanent damages to your body. Both work equally well, the second medicine will leave an imprint that you will never be without. Is this a good thing? Most certainly not. So, as long as the first medicine does its job at the time, it is not necessary to have a long lasting reminder of such. Blah blah blah... I need to write my paper!

Anyhow, I am a little stressed at the moment. Tomorrow afternoon will again see me stranded at the university with no ride home in time for practice. That is, of course, unless I want to be a poor student and skip my behavior class... But I truly do love that class and by staying home I would also be depriving myself of my work out and several hours of work, not to mention risking my grade. Two whole weeks without fighting... Sigh, it is a terrible thing.

Anyhow, sorry for the long rambling post, my mind is all over the place trying to run from my honors project I think. It is soon to hunt me down though no doubt. Huggles you all of you who need it, and for those of you who want it. To those who neither want nor need it, I must wonder what is wrong with you because a world without huggles is a terrible place...