The world is very different when you look at it through weary eyes. In my efforts to stay awake today I think I have officially scared everyone I have talked to. In the past two days I have had 5 hours of sleep. And surprisingly I'm feeling rather hyper right now. Today is my last day of school, I finished my English paper at 3 am last night, and I'm feeling great! Losing what little sanity I had left, but still feeling great! All I need to do now is get through my SATs tomorrow, my 5 exams next week, my monologs for theatre, my credit appeal, and then the ACTs a week from tomorrow and I'll be home free academically for awhile! Wow, that seems like a lot more stuff to do now that I wrote it down. But nevermind that, I'm almost done!

Huggles from one who is elated to be almost free.

Sigh...

If you ask me, Sigh is one of the best words ever conceptualized. It's so stark in its simplicity yet can have so much meaning. You can have a deep, contented sigh. The kind where you're being held in the arms of the one you love and everything is so perfect that you never want anything to change. Then there's the exasperated sigh for when you're just so frustrated you have to let off some steam. There's the sigh of resignation when you just give up and give into the pressure of the world. A well placed sigh can be a clue to someone that something's wrong. Or a sarcastic sigh coupled with a roll of you eyes to let someone know they're annoying you.

Such a small, soft, single syllable. It can be said tenderly or explosively, loud or soft. Just sigh...

Huggles!

Ok drama queen meter lowering... My counselor said that it shouldn't be a problem to get the credit denial appealed... I just have to go before the school court on Tuesday and tell them where I was those days. Waste of time if you ask me but...

Soooo tired. I spent the night at Josh's house last night with a bunch of friends and got maybe 2 hours of sleep before I had to go to school. Lol, probably not the best deicision but it was the last chance for me to see him until Monday since he's in Tennesee this weekend.

Practice yesterday was a blast! Even though the weather sucked... And I got to teach Josh's friend Caitlin how to fight a little, she seems like a cool chick. And I'm totally loving my new garb, oh the virtues of garb shopping at Good Will!

Ok, well off to write a paper for Language Arts...

Huggles
~me

Yea well, my school is really trying to ruin my life... I'm going to scream, cry, give up! I quit, that's it I quit! Why do I even try if they reward me with this?! They claim I have missed 11 days when I have only missed 10... I think. I have a GPA of 4.5 and they are threatening to deny me credit! After all the work I've done?! There is no way I will redo this year... I quit if they don't except the appeal. I just can't take it!

And all I really need is a hug and there is no one to give me one...

Sigh and pathetic, stressed out huggles from a girl desparate for reassurance from a world that's falling away from her at astonishing speed.

Yea so yay! Showtime's over! Never ever have to sing for stupid Bianchi ever again! Sigh... I'm going to miss choir though, oh well I shall have to just join one in college.

I got up early this morning, wrote 3 papers, and did my calculus homework sigh. What a life.

But then I went out to dinner with Josh's family. I really like them. Very warm and accepting, not quite as crazy as mine but still fun! And then we went to Joah's graduation. That was cool too, *tear* my little boy's all growed up! hehe

It was really nice to spend time with Josh away from all our friends though. I mean don't get me wrong, I love my friends and have tons of fun hanging with them but... When we're with them Josh tends to get distracted and I feel kinda ignored. Which is ok now and then but not everytime. I don't want to seem like I'm trying to steal him away but... I really love just being with him, talking to him, even just holding him in my arms... Sigh, I love him.

Well, on that wistful note I shall now retire to my bed.
Huggles!

PS... So tired but always deprived of my nap.