Two posts in a 4 hour period?! We know what that means... Hannah has free time in which to ponder and pontificate! No good can come of this.
Anyhow, I was just reading QC, one of my fav web comics and
this one struck a cord. While I don't feel quite so crazed about it as Penelope and as the author does pose a good point in the commentary, I do feel lately like people think I should rightly be with someone to be happy. I am, for once in my life, completely content to be single. This is a hard accomplishment when media is constantly throwing around pictures of happy couples, new born babies, and holiday love. Though these images do stir a desire within me to find that special someone, I just don't feel that now is that time. More often then I can count this past week, friends have asked me if I was dating someone only to look at me with pity when I stated that I was not looking. And worse yet is the implication that any boy I am hanging out with is my "special friend". Why is it so hard to believe that I am well occupied enough with my career interests, school, work, Rausumea, my family, and my friends to not need a boyfriend, girlfriend, or any form of sex?
Granted, I would be going nuts if I didn't have such close friends. But this is another discouragement for me to date. When I am with someone I lose contact with my wonderful friends. I neglect those relationships and ultimately undermine my whole support system. I love them all too much and they really are all I need... for now.
I have the tendency to cut off the issue with the obligatory "there is no one right for me" or "relationships just aren't worth it" or "I've given up". But while easy explanations of my single status, they really aren't true. I am not actively looking, and I certainly do not feel like I have the time to commit to a relationship anytime soon, but I am not closing myself to the possibility that one day someone will sweep me off my feet. I would like to fall in love and have a family one day. And in the meantime, if someone catches my fancy and I try to give it a go, then that is where life takes me. Do not worry, I do not plan on being a lonely prude forever. But there wouldn't be anything wrong with me even if I was. My career path is going to be very time intensive and I can't in fair conscience drag someone across the world with me. Most female conservation advocates sacrificed love and families for their career, and I am willing to do so as well. Only if I must that is...
Long story short, I am happy and I guess that is all that really matters. Though I tried for awhile to ice my heart over to prevent the thought of ever loving again, I know it isn't in me to be so gaurded. One day it may happen, as my little sister always tells me, that I will fall in love with a man over a lion in Africa. Or with a woman over coffee in Cleveland. I don't know! That's the point. But what I do know is that I have enough love within me and surrounding me to sustain me well enough without yearning for something to fill that particular vacancy so early in my life.
Thank you all for being a part of that love!
~Huggles!
