Live and Let Go

Well the currents of life keep carrying me on and with time I grow the strength to deal with the hysterics of the day before. I have not heard from Brandon yet but I am succeeding in convincing myself that I am simply overreacting and that he is busy with his family and friends. I love and miss him a lot but I jumped to dire conclusions too soon I think (I hope...)

I went to take my herpetology test today and found out that my field notebook was due a week earlier then I was originally told. So I rushed home and finished it and drove it into campus. And great news, I got an A! And it's a darn good thing too for the hell I went through on that trip and the amount of money I paid for a class that wasn't anything like what I thought it would be. But the whole homework ordeal means that I am running late to get to Midsummer Slaughter.

So off I go! Have a great weekend, hopefully I will.

Huggles!

Lonelier Still

Does anyone even still read this? Not that it much matters because I write for myself but it simply makes me smile to know people subject themselves to my blathering. I would not be surprised if no one reads it anymore though because I have been wallowing in some lovely depression. And sorry guys, it isn't going to get any better tonight.

My trip wasn't as bad as it could have been, but it could have been much better. We spent at least half the trip in the van. Driving to Florida, driving to Tennessee, driving to hiking trails, driving to different hiking trails, getting stuck in traffic on the way back to the motel, getting lost on the way to the motel, and finally and utterly not soon enough, driving home. The only two truly redeeming instances were canooing in Florida and the one real hike we took in Tennessee. Oh, and doing shots with the TA was pretty fun... There were rare glimpses where I felt like I actually belonged in the clique but all in all they just weren't exactly my type. I felt lonely a lot. For example, the last two nights the girl who I shared a bed with just randomly booted herself to the floor. What do I smell? Am I that terrible to be close to? I cried myself to sleep both nights.

I never managed to get a call into Brandon and I missed him immensely. By the way, he and I came to terms with my exhausted bitchiness before I left. Which brings me to why I am holding back tears today even as I am just delighting over being home. I had my heart set on seeing him at practice and then whisking him away to my abode to make up for a whole week with no contact with him. But... he has to visit with some long lost cousins I guess. And he probably cannot come to Midsummer Slaughter and therefore I will not see him until NEXT week. I am in pain. And the worst part is that he doesn't sound upset about it. I don't know if I am missing the inflection over the phone or if I am just over reacting but he sounds happy go lucky as always and I really had to fight to keep from throwing a fit. Sigh, I am really trying not to be upset but I hate being so lonely.

I will post pictures later but right now I just need to go soak in a tub because everything hurts. Though I do not think that it will help my aching heart any. (How overdramatically pathetic can I be?)

Huggles
I miss you all more then ever...