Independence

And it was on this Independence Day that I was struck by my own independence. Not just the independence I recently exercised by moving away from home but the independence to fulfill my dream regardless of others' judgment. The independence to go where I need to and do what I deem necessary. I have been graced with the marvelous independence of youth. Since before I can remember I have worked towards the ideal of changing the world. I now begin to wonder if I have pacified myself with the first small step. Have I become so complacent knowing that I have started the journey that I have stopped moving altogether? I had told myself that I could slow down and take a break now that I had graduated, found a new internship to pour myself into. But suddenly that urge fills me again, the urge that there is more to be done and every second I let slip by means the loss of something else precious. I know I cannot save everything, cannot save the world, cannot change the minds of those who don't wish to see. But I can try. I must try. Like the flash bang of fireworks in the air, everything is illuminated in my mind for an instant then it fades and the smoke drifts on the wind, the ashes fall to the earth, muddying the waters of the reflecting pool. But in its place is a renewed passion, refueled motivation that fills me with enthusiasm. The crowd murmurs their appreciation and fills the night air with applause as the finale echoes and then is quiet.
Now I sit in my room in a house that is not mine filled with people that I do not know and I write down this oath. I will keep trying. I listen to the softly falling rain that cleanses the earth and reminds me of the frustrated tears that I cried into my pillow last night at my own impotence. It is hard not to feel hopeless in the face of a global problem. How can I hope to tackle what the very forces of nature itself cannot overcome? How can I fix a problem in which I myself am guilty of participating? The carelessness of man... Sometimes I think it would be so easy to live my life without considering the repercussions of my actions. If I just waited, then it would be too late and I could just write the environment off as too far gone. To forget the weighty responsibilities and spend my days in small joys and hope that I don't find myself feeling empty and alone in the end. But I know that it is futile to ignore the panicked ache of impending loss of which I am already too well aware. I know that I may fail miserably, but at least I can say that I have tried. In my independence, there is hope.