I am Thankful for....

*sarcasm* The obligatory family blowup that occurs at any family get together... *sarcasm*

The one this year was particularly nasty, hence the reason I am sitting in my room alone with only a laptop to comfort me. Asher walked out and is wondering the streets somewhere and Caitlin felt it was important to let me know exactly how little she has ever cared about me. I won't bother to disclose the details of the prior situation that led to this attack because some of you who read this are friends of Asher and as much as I dislike him for it, I refuse to slander the asshole to his peers. However, it has led to the rather painful predicament of Caitlin trusting him more than me and me not really wanting to live with either of them anymore... Unfortunately I can no more make them leave then I can leave myself.

Sigh...

I am determined not to let this hurt me any longer. Too many tears have been shed in the dark of the night remembering...

So... in a more positive light, something I am thankful for is the numbness of sleep. It erases the pain of reality for at least a few moments in this excrutiating eternity. Speaking of which, perhaps I shall go embrace slumber. At least it will always be there to hug me.

Alright, enough of the self pity act! I really am pathetic sometimes. Let's try this again.
I am thankful for the lemon meringue pie I baked last night. Delicious desserts heal all wounds!

Happy Thanksgiving.
Huggles!!!
~me!

Blanketing Calm

I find it very strange that the weather often seems to echoe my moods... Or do my moods echoe the weather?

In the still silence of the first real snow fall of the season, my head feels a similar almost oppressive calm blanketing my senses and I feel content in a way uncharacteristic of myself of late. I'm drifting through this day without much a care in the world. I wonder if perhaps this has anything to do with the delights of hanging out with Elliot last night... Yes, we got decidedly physical though not in the way you are thinking you pervert (though I'm sure we both thought about it) . He is a very well studied martial artist and was showing me some throws and blocks. Which basically involved him flinging me around a lot. I had a really good time, as anyone who knows me knows that that sort of thing is practically foreplay ;)

I really like the guy but I know his schedule rivals mine as far as busy-ness is concerned and he is very relationship shy. So, I am trying not to let my thoughts stray too far from a very relaxed friendship. It is however proving to be hard as the more I get to know him, the more I like him. He's motivated and dedicated in a way that so many people our age lack pathetically. He is funny and smart and a geek in that cute way that I love. But I do find it annoying that he talks constantly which makes it hard to get a word in about myself edgewise. But perhaps that is the best so that I don't make myself too vunerable to him emotionally.

And anyways... the snow falls and at least I have someone to fantasize about snuggling with as the nights grow colder.

Huggles
~me!