Suckage!

I just wanted to let you all know that tonight I am feeling quite depressed. That is it. You may return to your regularly scheduled programming.

I ought to have made myself study tonight... But for some silly reason I thought I was going to get to have fun with friends... Hah. And now I can't go out tomorrow either because I HAVE to study then. So my whole weekend is shot.

This sucks. In fact it inhales AND exhales very vigorously at the same time!

Sigh... I don't understand.

Cassowaries! Emily dearest, you certainly know how to brighten my day! I luffes you do much!!!! 

No skin off my knees...

Or rather, no skin ON my knees... I went to practice at Avalon in the JAR on campus yesterday. It was a great workout. My thighs are screaming at me today which feels great. However, the lack of skin on my knees because I forgot my knee pads does not feel so great. =( I plan on continuing to fight there. Unfortunately it simply turns into two shield walls advancing at each other again and again which is a style of fighting I'm not at all used to, but I guess it is good practice. And I'm getting better at blocking flails. And also unfortunately being a female that most of the Avalonians don't know I get the feeling that I constantly have to prove myself... But I guess that's nothing new in the fighting world. I just really want to impress them all and show them how awesome I am... But instead I'll stop worrying about it and just have fun!

Hmmm, my birthday is like a week away... how strange. I don't really think I want to be 19. I'm not very fond of that number for some reason. 18 sounds so much better. But I guess there is no going back, and it's sure to be a good year.

Well, huggles!

Disconnected

I don't have the right words to describe how I currently feel... I feel disjointed, disconnected, generally befuddled. I'm wandering through a fog and the lights are playing tricks on me. Mayhaps I ought to get some sleep, but everytime I move towards my bed something distracts me. I finally got my headache to relent at least and for the moment the throbbing has subsided. But in its place is a dull, hollow ache in my chest. My cup overfloweth with tears that are slowly trickling down my heart. I yearn to feel the sun shining on my face and to hear the birds singing me the joyful secrets of life.

The definition of apathy is lack of emotion, indifference. So it was the word I was searching for last night. And strangely it fits me today as well.

Sigh