Better than Ever

Happy thought for the day:
That I have so many wonderful people out there who care about me. =) I really am touched by everyone who has taken the time to make sure I was ok this week. Yes I know it is a serious undertaking to break an addiction. And yes, I am feeling the effects of it. No need to worry though, I discuss what I'm feeling everyday with my parents and siblings and they were the first people I told when I made the decision so that I'd have their opinion as to how I seemed to be dealing with it from another perspective. And so far, from all angles it looks like I'm winning! Yesterday at around 11 I felt the first withdrawal symptoms when I got a terrible headache and dizziness but that was cured when I ate lunch. I was slightly tired throughout the day and had a slight amount of trouble concentrating on homework later that evening. But all in all, I got an amazing amount of homework and studying done yesterday and was in a wonderfully happy mood all day.

As for today, I am definitely feeling fuzzy in the back of my head and a little dizzy, though since I know what is causing it, I am having no problem working through it and may even be enjoying the feeling slightly. It's kinda like feeling drunk without the alcohol! ;)

The other factor that has been helping me is exercise. As it is a natural mechanism for the release of adreniline and serotonin, it helps boot my battery back up when I'm feeling especially worn. I have spent at least 1-2 hours everday this week exercising. I spent some time lifting weights and doing cardio at the rec center yesterday and have started walking with my lil sis every night after my homework is done. I also am teaching myself Tai chi which I find especially beneficial because not only does it help me feel better physically but it also helps me connect to my energy. No surprise that I enjoy it so much though as it truly is all about balance, both of body and mind.

Sad thought for the day:
My father just sent me an email about a true tragedy. Two shipments of ivory were confiscated recently in the Phillipines. Over 315 tusks in all which means over 150 elephants were slaughtered and probably left to rot. They seem to be connected to the same person but the maximum amount of jail time he can be hit for is two years!!! Now anyone who has ever gotten to know or even just read about an elephant knows that they are a brilliantly intelligent and have a vast range of emotions. They understand pain, sorrow, and even mourn for their dead. The idea that a person can brutally kill hundreds of these beautiful and soulful creatures for profit and get away with practically a slap on the wrist is the epitome of all that is wrong in this world. Elephants can live 60-70 years or more. So this bastard has taken away 7500 collective years of amazing life on this planet (not including the offspring now deprived from this seriously endangered species) and all he has taken from him is 2 years. This hardly seems fair to me.

My Chemical Romance

For around two years now I have been on a medication called effexor which is a serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor, in short, an antidepressant. Depression, mood disorders, social anxieties, panic attacks, and all that go with them are common in my family. I have always seemed to fight them better then the rest of the family, but when the symptoms started to make life and school difficult, I asked the doctor for help. It is the same medication that my older sister is on as well. It really did help me over the bump my junior year in high school and the problems I was having went away. However, I can't help but worry about the long term effects of a medication and whether or not it is really necessary for me any longer. I am a lot wiser now then I was then as well as a lot stronger. I feel that perhaps this medication has contributed to my weight increase, my constant exhaustion, and my annoying habit of sweating profusely. I need to know if I can live without it. So I am going to stop taking it. I know I ought to call my doctor and talk with him first but I think I will try it on my own for a week and if I have problems then I will contact him. And worse comes to worse, I'll just start taking them again.

I'm trusting my body and my mind to be strong enough to balance each other out. If I intend to live my life trekking across the wilderness of the world, I need to be independent from such trivial supports. It will be rough the first few days I am sure, but it is something that I feel I need to do. I need to be in control of my body and my life.

Wish me luck...
Huggles!

What was I thinking?!

Happy thought for the day:
I was posting in the walkabout at the zoo today and an amazingly gorgeous guy walked up and started talking to me. It turns out he used to interpret at another zoo and loved the exhibits we had. He had a double major in biology and biochem as well as emphasis on german studies and polysci and was going to grad school for bio chem. He was very passionate about animals and was so intelligent! He had the best smile and kept reaching over and touching my hand. It was so exciting to talk to a guy that perfect!

Sad thought for the day:
I'm such a dork that I didn't ask for his name or number. *smack*