Just Out of Reach

I had very ambitious plans for the day. And I was all set to get up early and accomplish them I swear. I was going to do laundry and jog, and clean up the apartment because Jessica is coming home tonight. I was going to work on the fund raising package and then go out. I was going to see the Solar Decathalon on the mall and attend a lecture on spiders at the Air and Space Museum. Then I was going to come back, spend a little more time at the apartment before dropping my stuff off at my office and then going to Jennifer's place to spend the night. Very Ambitious plans for a day off.

Instead I stayed up late watching chick flicks and artsy films. I baked brownies and ate too many of them. Then I got up at 10, made an omelette and watched more chick flicks. I literally just got done balling my eyes out at The Notebook. And I mean the violent, heaving sobs, hyperventilating kind of balled my eyes out. It really hit me hard...

Sometimes I feel like I have such a firm grasp on life. Just when I think I have it all figured out, just when I think I know what I want, I get confused. It is like someone is holding the answers just out of reach, dangling them tantalizingly in front of me. I am so close I can taste it! And then it is gone. What am I really doing here?

On Monday I have an interview with the Executive Director of Friends of the National Zoo. He needs a temporary replacement for his executive assistant while she is recovering from surgery. It sounds like it would be a lot of answering phones, computer work, and attending Board meetings. What am I getting myself into? To be honest I have no real experience with this sort of thing. I have good people skills and some work with project development and administration. But what I really know is animals. I have often wondered if I could accomplish more in the conservation field working from the people side of things... Am I just being selfish by concentrating myself to the animals? This would be an opportunity to see what the other side of the industry is like. It pays well and I would be getting to know some very important people. It would also be time consuming and probably very stressful. I would have to dress all proper and business like (ack!) which also means I would have to buy some new clothes. Again, what am I getting myself into? What am I really doing here?

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