Subway is out of Bread!

Another one of the best weeks of my life has transpired. And though it is almost 3 in the morning and I ought to be sleeping, I had to share with the world how aboslutely happy I am. Though it flew by at the nigh the speed of light, I had such fun staying in the Falls this week. I am truly grateful to Delilah for letting me crash at her place and though I have been worried about her health, I enjoyed spending one on one time with her. Alan and the rest of the guys ( and Teela) are always a blast to be with as well. Alan did something tonight that made me feel more loved and close as friends then ever before. I happened to mention that of the three rings on my hands, two reminded me of Josh and one of Madog and therefore brought up questionable memories. Alan and D then handed me on of his rings and told me it was so I could have one that reminded me of good things like their friendship. I am so touched. These really are special people and beautiful souls I have befriended and I am honored that they care so much for me.

And I do not even have words for the way Brandon makes me feel. It is like I have known him for forever and a day and I can be so open and comfortable around him. I already feel like he is my best friend and dare I say it, I am falling for him. Quick, grab the parachute! A part of me went off like an alarm system when I realized how much I liked him and tried to shut me down like an icy fortress but I have decided the better of logic and thrown said caution to the strongest wind I could find. Brandon is possibly the sweetest, most trustworthy guy I have ever met and though I know there is a large chance that things will sour like loves in the past, I cannot help but think that things will be different. He is so devoted, so wonderful... We clicked and there are sparks and a flow like I haven't had in a long, long time. Everytime I look in his eyes, I am at a loss for words and can only tell him how amazing he is to me. That word has been uttered more between us in the past weeks then ever in the history of mankind I think.

*sighs wistfully*

Well off to sleep then, I think I have let out enough of my elation to allow my brain to deflate temporarily.

Huggles~!~

ps. Went to see my Daddio's band play at the Cashmere Cricket tonight and he rocked as always. Am I lucky to have the awesomest poppie ever or what?

Off Balance

I am feeling slightly left of center today. I managed to forget that I had a lecture class for my lab this morning and missed a quiz. That's a beautiful 0/20 points that I will be hurting for. I feel very woozy and dizzy and hope that it is merely me being exhausted and far too much a girl for my own good.

My sister attempted to have a civil conversation with me today and I attempted to play nice in return. I was seething mad when I saw her pointing at Brandon the other day at practice as if to mock me. But I pretended not to see her and refuse to play her games for attention. I spent too much of the past few years trying to understand why she freaked everytime I hung out with Asher and will not be intimidated thusly anymore. On a related note, I am excited that by this time tomorrow night I shall have seen my boy again. Last night I dreamt that I met his mother and got a nosebleed. Highly bizarre yes, but when I awoke I could not help but smile knowing I was thinking of him. Currently trying not to stress over the fact that I do not know exactly how I am getting to D's from school tomorrow, or when. But I will figure it out as always. If all else fails I will take the bus though if it is after evolution class, it will be rather late... I feel very lonely all of the sudden for some strange reason.

I think sleep will do me well this evening. I hope desperately that I am not forgetting anything else assignment wise... The end of the semester is flying up and I am slightly worried about finals and such. They are in two weeks! I can hardly believe that I am almost a senior in college. The worst part is that school is the last thing I want to concentrate on currently as I have this lovely new distraction in my life. But I am confident that I will do my best and succeed as usual. *I think*

Huggles and may the morrow pass swiftly
~me!

Black Spot

I feel like I have been cursed, something reminiscent of a pirate tale. The affliction to my vision that I so graciously acquired yesterday went away last night only to return this morning once I awoke. Not having time to think about it before I stumbled groggily to work I merely hoped that it would again go away. And it did. Until about an hour ago. I am really weirded out by this blind spot. I hope there is nothing seriously wrong. There is no swelling and no pain just that silly black spot in the upper middle of the my vision in my left eye.

I am currently exhausted. It was a long day of physical labor at work today and factor in the miniscule amount of sleep I have gotten recently and one could have predicted me falling asleep while talking to my friends at dinner. I am off to get some needed rest and I hope that tomorrow and Tuesday pass quickly because I cannot wait to see Brandon on Tuesday night. It is nice to have something to look forward to again.

Huggles and I hope everyone is graced with dreams as sweet as my current reality.

Spasm

Prepare for random recounting of last day or so... This evening we are experiencing spastic difficulties and may be a little hard to follow.

Dj's concert last night was amazing. Everyone should listen to Third Nature (blatant plug)! They are so freaking hot. I did not stop moving the whole time they were playing. The music just welled up inside me and in a torrent of passion and energy I had to release it. It was made even more awesome by the friends that came with me. We spent the hours leading up to the delayed set start taking random, fun, and whacky pics of each other which I will post soonish.

Alas I had to meet up with my Daddio and go home after my holiday from the insanity that is my house. I felt so relaxed at Delilah's and even though I missed most of my family and animals and things... it just felt right this past week. Never fear, I will return again. Probably spend Tuesday through Friday there climaxing in seeing my Dad's band play at the Cashmere Cricket Friday night. I am terribly excited!

I am currently exhausted off my arse. I slept 3 hours after getting home last night wiped out from hardcore thrashing. Then I worked 8 hours at the zoo and really put physical effort into things all day. Then straight to practice with nary a stop at home. All I can say is hells yea for the awesome Spring Opener we had today. Beautiful weather, tons of people, good fighting. I didn't feel quite in my groove but was definitely enjoying some shield bashing and especially taking on a leadership role. I was rallying people around me and when I shouted they listened. It was a great feeling! I also think that all the time I have spent marshalling lately is really helping me notice things on a more field wide perspective. I noticed flankers and holes a lot more often and used it to my advantage.

So I was having a blast fighting until... ARROW!!! TO THE EYE!!! FUCK YOU HANNAH! NO SIGHT FROM YOUR LEFT EYE FOR YOU! BAM TAKE THAT BITCH! I can finally see again but for a long while there was a dark black spot in the top middle of the field of vision for my left eye and it was really freaking me out. It is a little swollen but thankfully not black and blue. And so thus ended my evening of sunshine and bloodlust.

In other news...

I heard words tonight that I have not heard in a long time... And I am not sure how to react. I am slightly scared and yet want to embrace it. Deep breath and come what may? That sounds like the best plan. I am happier with Brandon then I have been in a long, long time. But I am afraid of things going too fast. I am smitten but I fear getting smited again. To be honest I had to bite my tongue last night to not let the same words slip. Can I really think I know already?

Sigh... and finally, why do I care about what people think of me? Well in this case, perhaps it is because this person is supposed to be like a brother to me. And yet he can flippantly insult something I poured my heart into... Sometimes I do not know why I bother and then I remember that I love Rausumea and will not let one single chode get in the way of helping it become better.

My head is throbbing with thoughts and bruises and I feel the urge to embrace unconsciousness.
I only hope I am not this spasmodic tomorrow.
*Crosses fingers in hopes of good dreams of four lettered words*
Huggles