Ok... strange tangent, I looked at myself in the mirror today and realized... "Wow maybe I am beautiful". My eyes were a deep deep green and my hair just looked perfect without having done anything to it. I love it! I love myself sometimes! And I love the fact that someone as wonderful as Josh loves me. He could have a number of other girls. All of them pretty and funny and nice and probably be able to see them more oftne, at school for example. But he chose me. =) That makes me feel so loved and so wonderful. Every once in awhile I can just stand back and try to see what people like about me... and then I really do like myself.

I want to do something special for Josh. Like make him something or take him somewhere or cook him dinner or something. Our one month anniversary was wednesday. We've only really gone on one date and I'd like to spend a special night together. I'd invite him over for dinner or something but sigh, that is the sadness in my life... Maybe I could arrange to have dinner alone but neither of us drive so that requires a ride... Sigh, I just want to do something for him to knock him off his feet to let him know how much he means to me. I mean he looked into my eyes just 15 minutes ago as he held me tight and whispered how much he loved me and I just melted into him. When I'm with him, I just don't want to ever let go. He's so wonderful, I just want him to know that for sure.

Well... I'm off to figure something out...

Huggles!!!

I LOVE JOSH!!!!!

Oh and I stopped by practice yesterday. It went ok, Kurt basically ignored me... It hurts to see him though, that's why I was kinda in a bad mood. I really need to just forget about him...

But Josh is wonderful and soon I will be back fighting again. As soon as I finish one full outfit of garb and a sword and shield. And I think a new pair of wings too. Then I'll be back kicking arse on the field! I am so in fighting withdrawal!!!!

Oh, BTW I Love Josh... with no pants, just for you Dawn.

Huggles

La lalala. I'm so happy it's like 76 degreeeeeees outside today. I really really really want to go to practice!!!!! And am so very tempted to at least stop by there for a bit. But I don't know how Kurt will react.

So Kurt pulled an April Fool's joke on everyone yesterday.... He posted that he was upset and was going to quit rausumea and stuff. And stupid me, not thinking what day it was or anything emailed him telling him that I was there if he needed to talk. Well, he emailed me back telling me that it was just a joke and then bluntly stated that as for talking to me, No thank you. ouch, stupid me for ever thinking... well for thinking that I could do anything right. sigh

But I really want to go to practice because it is the only way that I will get to see Josh at all today. And I really, really, really want to see him especially after that doomed trek to Kent last night where we got lost and finally made it to Dave's house 20 minutes after Josh had left. Sigh, that sucked.

Blarg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to go get dressed and do something outside, I don't know what but something!

Huggles

I'm grinning from ear to ear right now! What a wonderful weekend it has been! First of all, I got to spend last night with my best friends at Jessica's house and we watched animes. Well we also watched The Ring, freaky movie by the way. And I slep all night in Josh's arms. Which was wonderful except I killed my knee trying not to fall off the couch because he kept cuddling closer and closer to me. =) He is so wonderful. Then this morning Jessica, her mom, my sister, and I went Prom dress shopping. The first place we went to was horrible! It was crowded, disorganized, way overpriced, and not a single dress fit me! I felt so fat. Damn dress makers! Not everyone wears a size 2! So just when we were about to give up hope and I was trying to think of a way to break the news of no Prom to Josh, we decided to go to David's Bridals. Well, we walk in the door and instantly I find like 6 gorgeous dresses that fit me that are under $200. And then Jess's mom brings me another dress to try on and it is perfect. It's a deep, deep burgundy red and almost iredescent black. It's a strapless gown and just flows down to the floor. I Look so awesome in it, and I look really thin too! And then the best part, the lady took it up front to ring it up... 50 dollars!!!!!! I got the absolute perfect dress for $50!!!! That just made my day. The dress was meant for me.

Then we all went oput to lunch and I finally got to go to Hot Topic for the first time in my life. The store rocks! I treated myself to some really cool faerie necklaces. Jess is so much fun to hang out with! She's such an awesome friend!

And now it's spring break and I get to see Josh this week! He is so great. =) I'm off to show my dress to my mom....

Huggles and sunshine!!!!!!!!!!