Rose Pedals...

So I have decided that I want a bike. Screw jogging, I want to pedal... Plus then I could explore the city. I want a bike. That is all.

Resolved

Well friends, in keeping with my new years resolution I went jogging this evening. Yes, I jogged a whole one block! Not much, I know, but it is a start. And unfortunately it was also enough to trigger a full blown asthma attack. I was so excited over the summer when it seemed like my asthma was fading away. I went jogging countless times without any issues. I think the cold air is the culprit. I have known for a long time that I am allergic to the cold. It is a rare symptom of asthma called cold urticaria. Which means, cold triggers an allergic reaction in my skin and can also cause an asthmatic response.

I can remember a time as a child when I loved to go sledding with my family. And then I can also remember as I got older, trudging up the snow covered hills, gasping for air, glasses fogged and little tears freezing on my cheeks. And so I stopped sledding... I refuse to let my asthma control me like that anymore. If I still had health insurance, I could count on advair to help me but alas I am poor... Let's hope I can condition my body past this and manage to jog regardless. I am disgruntled at my slip back down the slope towards obesity since the holiday season started. I need to crack down, steel my self restraint, and get a hold of my appetite. No more eating because I am bored. No more eating because I am stressed. I need to eat more healthily! My goal is to first lose the 5 pounds I put on this past month and then to lose upwards of 30 more. And on the way I plan to tone and tighten and generally get fit.

Blah, blah, blah right? Sorry I just needed to set it down in words for myself. Wish me luck!

~Huggles!

A Year of Learning

Well, the holidays are officially over. I spent the first day of the new year terribly out of sorts and not entirely as a product of last night's overindulgence. I simply cannot wrap my head around the fact that it is now 2008. It doesn't feel like winter even, let alone January! Where did the time go? Last year was one of the best of my life. So many amazing things happened. I turned 21, got my drivers license, graduated college, got a competitive internship at the National Zoo, moved to Washington DC, lived on my own for the first time, got evicted, moved, moved again, and moved yet again. I spent the summer chasing little orange monkeys through the zoo and meeting new and exciting people. I proved to myself again and again that I am capable, I am independent, I am resilient. It was a year of change and growth and adventure. And now it's over...

I can only hope that the coming year is half as good. I just don't know what it might hold in store. It is the first year that I have no real plans for. Everything is a might, a maybe, a wish on a star. It is the first year I am not in school. I don't even know which state I will be living in after April. That kind of openness and insecurity leave me simultaneously terrified and thrilled. Here I am, living in an exciting city that practically buzzes with energy. I have a world of options before me. I can take my time, take my GREs, take my pick of a grad school. I am traveling to Ecuador and with any luck will spend some time there exploring. Who knows where else the year might find me?

Last night, as I staggered home with a friend, the alcohol triggered emotional catharsis reminded me of a few things. I am young. I am amazing. Life is what I make of it. There are so many people out there who I have yet to meet. I am the only person that I need to impress. That last one is pretty important... Sometimes I get so caught up in trying to show everyone who I am that I start acting like someone I am not. I just need to relax, find my center, and be myself. I do not need to be the center of attention. I do not need to seek out other's approval. I do not need a relationship to be fulfilled. That last one is also pretty important.

Here's to the new year; may we all learn and love and live.

Huggles!

New Year Preparations

Well, I never got around to jogging today... Going outside simply didn't seem appealing. The sky was overcast and it rained on and off all day. That's part of the reason I stayed in bed until 4. That's right, 14 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Almost interrupted that is, now and then I had to wake up and remove the cat's claws from my head. He loves to bury his nose in my hair, purr, and knead my head while I sleep. It's adorable, if not slightly painful. Despite that, the 14 hours of rest were blissful. The rest of the day was spent cleaning the apartment. Around 7 I finally decided to venture out and walked to the store. I had the overwhelming urge to dye my hair and accordingly so, it is now deep red. Beautiful! Overall it has been a very indulgent day and I think that is exactly what I needed. One last day for myself before we enter the new year. I am ready to face tomorrow night's strike of midnight with a peaceful mind, a big smile, and brilliant red hair.

Happy New Year!