Snip Snip

If there is one thing that I have learned in college so far, it is how to cut my losses and run. Two of my group members never showed up for the presentation, one supposedly was in a car accident so is excused, the other just never showed. And the third was late and without the slides... Needless to say, I was not happy. And neither was our professor. When I emailed him my slides that I had hastily redone to cover my arse, he told he that it did bode well that I at least had my part done but since it was last minute, he was not likely to be lenient and that I was responsible for the collective success of the group project. I wanted to cry.

He finally decided, after letting me squirm in misery, that he would average all my tests and the final for the grade and ignore the presentation altogether. My first reaction was to plead with him to let me present simply my part because I deserved an A for the work I had put into it. But after quickly catching myself, I realized he was being very generous and could simply have given me and all the others a big fat zero. He really is a pretty fair professor despite how unfair the situation turned out to be in general.

One week left, three finals, and then this semester will be over and I'll be heading for Florida. Deep breath, in, out, stiff drink, deep breath. J/K I would rather have a really big hug after this day from hell.

Chemistry Induced Ulcers

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Alright, so I have a huge presentation due in Chemistry today and I was all excited because all my information is done and I have my part memorized and such. So guess why I'm freaking out.... Go ahead, guess.

Because my partners are friggin irresponsible and imbecilic! Two of them did not email me their presentations until about an hour ago and the third left hers and my power point slides at home instead of emailing them to me so I could put them on cd. I'm having an anuerism! The presentation is in less then 2 hours now. I have to be in german in 20 minutes. I'm trying to remake the slides, and the other girl just went home to try to find the disk. AHHHHH!

How are these people honors students?!

I give up.

42 and nothing more.

I find myself searching for something that I hadn't realized I'd lost. And just when I think I have found it I realize that I have been looking in the wrong place the whole time. How many times will I have to start down a path, realize my error and turn back before I find the right one? It saddens me to think of the places I have turned for happiness, for love. It saddens me to think I have never truly found either but have only been fooled, been fooling myself. Mayhaps I have yet to find it because it does not exist, at least for me anyhow. But can I go on without hope of ever being loved? It seems to me essential to living, essential to the very shining of the sun.

Or perhaps hope is not really lost but is working on a different scale of time than I. Life goes on as always and I need to simply be who I am and nothing more. I refuse to be cheapened any longer by desperation and loneliness. I will now learn from my mistakes and not repeat them. I deserve to be chased and won, not used and dropped. There are so many things in life that make me truly happy. There are so many people who truly love me. I refuse to put these at risk for something so unsure, so misleading. If, in fact, I do stumble across true love one day then I will be truly lucky indeed. But no matter what happens, I will be happy within myself.

And there will always be huggles. =)