Sighs ((not so contented))

I am feeling very restless today. No matter what I try to concentrate on, I lose interest and simply feel as if there is something else I ought to be doing. Maybe it is the time of year... Maybe it is the fact that I feel I've accomplished nothing in life. Maybe I just feel eternally lonely as if there is a hole in me that nothing can fill.

Random thought for the day...
I was cleaning my room and noticed the faerie bear Josh gave me years ago when we were dating. He was so proud of it. It's one of those build a bears and it even has a little sound box of his voice saying Hello Love. It's like a little bubble of his love frozen in time. Holding it I realized that I never really thanked him enough for it. I was always too caught up in figuring out how I could make him happier that I never truly appreciated the little things he did for me. At first it hurt me to remember the love that I had lost, but the more I thought about it, the less I could be sad about having put more love into the world even if that love wasn't meant to last. I just wish I had done more to thank him for loving me.

Huggles to the world. We could all use more love.

Well, I had a very good weekend for the most part. However, the highlight would have to be meeting Eric on Saturday night. I know it is terribly cliche to meet a guy you met online, but since when am I one for caring what is cliche or not? Don't worry, I took precautions to make sure it was done safely. My parents knew where I would be. We met in a very public restuarant. I had my parents drop me off and pick me up so he still doesn't know where I live. So now that I have curtailed lectures about how dangerous it is to meet with someone you do not know, more about the date.

Well... technically it didn't start as a date. But after talking for awhile, we decided that we liked each other quite a bit. It was slightly awkward at first, little bumps between conversation topics and me not wanting to meet his stare. He was apparently trying to see what color my eyes are. But as we both relaxed we had no problem keeping the conversation going. So dinner was a success. The movie didn't start for another hour and a half so we bummed around target and looked at christmas toys and such. I had a feeling he was trying to hold my hand but wasn't going to make it too easy for him. I know I'm such a jerk =) But I wanted to see how long it would take him to get brave and just put his hand in mine. At one point he rather pointedly said that he noticed I kept my hands in my pockets alot. *smirk* And even though I kept them out of my pockets from there on, he still didn't work up the courage. Don't worry, I wasn't too mean, about a half an hour into the movie I reached over and took his hand. It felt delightful to be in someone's arms again. I gave him a kiss goodnight in the parking lot and he stole a second one. All in all, a delightfully refreshing gentleman. I really do like the guy. He's a little shy but I don't really classify that as a bad thing. He is very smart, history buff, we even got into a political discussion without pissing each other off, though I held back a little on the subject of Middle Eastern people and why we shouldn't stereotype them all. And best of all, he likes animals. He has two ferrets that I fully intend to go visit. I'm not holding my breath for a long term relationship, I've learned my lesson so far as that goes lately. But I think I will enjoy getting to know him better and perhaps see where time takes us.

By the way, I absolutely adored Narnia, which is what we went and saw. The actress that played the white witch performed beautifully. And though my brother was highly perturbed that they didn't show any blood, I didn't think it really had that large of an effect on the overall great job they did with it. Besides, any movie that includes costumes like chainmail dresses is automatically awesome. I want one! *pouts* I can't even find a good picture of it anywhere.

Back to sewing then I guess
Huggles!